News & Politics

Military Topples FEMA Outpost in Florida

U.S. Special Forces on Saturday toppled a Federal Emergency Management Agency “mobile command center” in Southwest Florida, arrested six FEMA agents, and recovered 350 firearms FEMA had looted from evacuated homes, White Hat sources told Real Raw News.

At approximately 3:00 p.m., a Special Forces detachment patrolling the storm-battered city for signs of federal misdeeds happened upon a FEMA encampment—disaster relief tents pitched atop wooden pallets—in east Naples, near Wyndemere Country Club off Highway 75. The elite soldiers stayed at a safe distance while using binoculars to surveil the scene; a half dozen agents, visibly unarmed, wandered in and out of the tents in aimless abandon, as if very bored. Outside a tent sat several wheelbarrows brimming with guns.

The soldiers fanned out in two-man teams, encircled the camp, and closed the distance on their quarry. One agent, a sentry, was lighting a cigarette when Special Forces ambushed him from the rear. They slapped a thick strip of duct tape over his mouth, zip tied his wrists. The agent had a Glock 17 holstered beneath his windbreaker and a holdout pistol, a snub-nosed .32, strapped to his ankle.

The sentry dealt with, Special Forces surprised, subdued, and disarmed the remaining agents, demanding an answer as to why five wheelbarrows overflowing with guns and boxes of ammunition were sitting beside the tent.

“It’s ours,” the lead FEMA agent reportedly said.


But Special Forces questioned his sincerity, as many weapons in the wheelbarrows looked more like unlawfully seized, civilian-purchased guns than government-issued gear—the Special Forces lead rummaged through a wheelbarrow and retrieved a Marlin Model 60 .22 tube-fed rifle and an antique flintlock pistol that showed signs of water damage. He then found a Crossman 1377 American Classic, a pellet gun.

“When did FEMA start issuing these?” the Special Forces lead asked.

“We answer only to Director Denise Criswell or Homeland Security Director Alejandro Mayorkas,” a FEMA agent replied smugly. “If you have questions, take it up with them. We’re doing our job.”

The FEMA agents tried to justify their actions and accused Special Forces of “participating in an illegal coup to overthrow the democratically elected government of the United States,” said a source in General David H. Berger’s office.

The source, who reviewed the debrief, told RRN that Special Forces arrested all six agents under reasonable suspicion that they had violated their oath of office and oath to the Constitution of the United States of America. Special Forces demolished the FEMA camp and appropriated the firearms, he added.

“This was blatant misuse of authority,” our source said, “and we’ll see to it they’re punished for their crimes. Of the stuff retrieved, there were several pellet and BB guns, hunting shotguns, boxes of birdshot—you know, not stuff the government equips agents with. They stole those weapons. Hell, there was even an Airsoft rifle.”

Alas, White Hats believe FEMA is still on the prowl, harassing, taunting, and robbing God-fearing American patriots, in Southwest Florida. Our source said Special Forces will remain in Florida until every corrupt FEMA agent has either been arrested or driven from the area.

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