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Loretta Lynch to be Lynched!

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GITMO, Thursday, 7 April

Three military officers empaneled to weigh JAG’s case against former Attorney General Loretta Lynch found the Obama-acolyte guilty of treason and murder and recommended she be hanged for her crimes.

In what was one of the briefest tribunals in the last 16 months, Vice Adm. Darse E. Crandall of the U.S. Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps spent only 5 minutes on an opening statement before showing the panel a letter Lynch had written to Bill Clinton in April 2021, a month before he was apprehended by the military.

The letter, a single sheet of ruled paper, held the words: “That bastard CS is writing a book. It can never see publication, for all our sakes. I need you to fix this, ASAP. He’s a danger, and a big one, to all of us. Thanks in advance.”

Vice Adm. Crandall opined that the letters “CS” referred to Christopher Sign, the ABC 15 Phoenix journalist who broke the story about Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch’s June 27, 2016, clandestine meeting aboard her private Justice Dept. jet on the tarmac at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport.

At the time, it was broadly accepted that Sign had information linking the Clintons and Lynch to numerous murders— “the Clinton body count.” On June 30, however, Sign, during a press conference in Phoenix, nervously denied having knowledge of Clinton/Lynch crimes, saying instead that his investigation focused exclusively on the Clintons and Lynch’s love of social topics such as travels, golf, and grandchildren. Many conservative outlets believed the Clintons and Lynch had threatened sign into silence.

At the tribunal, Vice Adm. Crandall introduced as a witness Sign’s wife Laura, who, appearing on ZOOM, testified that her late husband feared for his life after learning that the Clintons and Lynch had kept a “kill list” of potential adversaries.

“Chris Sign, your late husband—he spoke to you in depth on this?” Vice Adm. Crandall asked.

A tearful Laura Sign said: “He did. He kept quiet publicly for a long time because he thought they’d come for him and us if word got out. Chris worked in the shadows a long time, but his goal was to expose the Clintons, with Loretta Lynch as an accomplice, on the deaths of people like Seth Rich. Some way, they found out Chris was almost done with a book, and that’s when he—was murdered,” Laura sign said.

The body of Chris Sign, deceased husband to beloved wife Laura and father to three young sons, was found dead on June 12, 2021, after police responded to a “mysterious” 911 call. Chris Sign’s death was summarily ruled a suicide by both the Jefferson County Coroner’s Office and the FBI.

“Do you believe your husband killed himself?” Vice Adm. Crandall asked Laura sign.

“No, of course not. He loved life. And you have the note he gave me,” she replied.

Vice Adm. Crandall entered the note into evidence. It read: “If anything happens to me, know that I am not suicidal. You know I must get this book done, and you know I love you and the boys dearly. Love, your husband, Chris.”

He turned his attention toward Lynch. “He never got the chance to finish that book, did he, detainee Lynch. You made sure of that.”

Loretta lynch, appearing without council, sat behind the defense table with her arms folded across her chest. “I’m not answering questions,” she said.

“In a criminal court you can choose to remain silent or not testify for or against himself. This is a military tribunal—meaning you have no rights, and your silence can be used against you,” Vice Adm. Crandall said.

“I don’t need to address your accusation, or this woman’s, and Barack will hear about this.” She waved her hand dismissively. “You have no legal authority over me, and neither do those three jurists sitting over there. I was attorney general of the United States; I understand the law. What your doing is prejudicial,” Lynch said.

At that point, the 3-officer panel said it had reached a verdict. It found Lynch guilty of treason and conspiracy to commit murder.

“It is our recommendation she be hanged,” the foreman, a Marine captain, said.

Vice Adm. Crandall nodded, then checked JAG’s register.  “And she will be, on April 25.”

Lynch leapt to her feet. “You’re going to hang a black woman. Fucking racists, all of you. Barack will find out.”

“Ma’am, this has nothing to do with race, but your crimes,” Vice Adm. Crandall said, and ordered the MPs to escort Lynch back to her Camp Delta cell.

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